The following about grief are myths:
- Mourning should be kept brief
- Mourning can be suppressed given the right attitude and the use of drugs and alcohol.
- Mourning is an illness if it goes on very long.
- Traveling through the valley of grief’s like taking a journey through unknown territory.
- Things once held constant rnay suddenly vanish in an emotional flux.
- The daily activities of life impose an intolerable burden on one’s defenses.
- Depression comes from nowhere and seems magnified at night.
- Anger erupts without warning and anything or anyone can be the target.
- Familiar situations may cause a frightening unpredictable response.
- It brings about an unwelcome change in one’s social structure.
- Persons once counted on in times of stress are unable to handle the bereaved’s pain.
- The world seems cold and frightening.
- The beloved is a reference point for interpreting one’s past and present.
- Grief creates a frightening sense of helplessness
- Fears are close to the surface and often difficult to control.
- The stress of grief places a strain on interpersonal relationships.
- It causes one to take a new look at their value system and redefine their priorities.
- It can sharpen one’s spiritual awareness.
- It provides insights never before experienced.
- It allows the person to reach beyond themselves to touch the lives of others.
- “Little things” are no longer as important as they once were.
- It gives new directions to life.
- One learns to live for the moment.
Definitions:
- GRIEF: The normal, appropriate emotional response to loss. It is unique to the individual experiencing it and there is no general timetable for completing it.
- MOURNING: The “expression” of grief and is usually public as during a visitation or wake service and flineral. Grief is taken to imply the “experience” of loss.
- SHADOW GRIEF: The weeks just prior to and after the anniversary of a loved ones death, or any other significant date. Some bereaved persons experience a lethargy, depression and anger similar to their first grief
- BEREAVEMENT: Describes the event of the loss and is derived from the Old English word berafian meaning to rob.
Used by permission – American Academy of Bereavement
